|
|
|
Arab
League Hamlet script
©
Zaoum Productions 2001
Director's Note - Hamlet In The Age of Infinite Justice
I am an Arab director. In making this piece for presentation to Arab audiences, I wanted it to be relevant from their perspective, to speak to Arab audiences about the way things are in Arab countries, in Arab culture today.
I am also a British director, working with a London based company of British and European actors.
This piece has been played both in London and in the Arab world and I am conscious that it carries different meanings for the different audiences.
I will try to describe briefly the concerns which I myself was trying to address in the shaping of the piece:
We are living in an age of political charades, where the emphasis on 'spin', public opinion focus groups and the so-called transparency of government hides a callous agenda of economic and political barbarism. In the recent scramble to unite world opinion behind 'America's War on Terrorism', the slogan mentality that pitches good against evil, crusade against jihad presents us with a world split into two halves each baying for the other's blood.
The politicians that surround us are actors, grotesque frontmen for corporate interests and venal puppets of sham democracies.
This Hamlet is about these things, but also about a world where televised diplomacy reigns supreme, where the terrible paralysis of political discourse reaches epileptic heights, from which it is impossible to conceive what damage is being done to human beings on the ground.
Inside the Kingdom of Denmark, the delegates are consumed by vanity, overwhelmed by their own sense of self-importance, insouciant of the dangers threatening them from outside their borders and concerned uniquely with increasing their stockpile of armaments to defend themselves against each other.
In Hamlet we watch the terminal, metastatic phases of an empire.
The development of the protagonist, Hamlet, is that of the religious fanatic- the resurgence of this highly modern archetype is a phenomenon typifying both the ghettos and provinces of America as much as certain sectors of Muslim youth. His fanaticism is nurtured on the one hand by a sense of disillusionment at the collapse of the old moral order, and is embittered by a feeling of political disempowerment on the other. It reaches its climax, as he prepares to lay down his life in order to become the instrument of divine retribution; "There is special providence in the fall of a sparrow. If it be now, 'tis not to come. If it be not to come, it will be now. If it be not now, yet it will come."
Whilst the delegates are consumed in endless internecine conflict, blaming one another for the state of things, increasingly concerned with their grudges and plots for revenge, arms deals are struck on all sides and Fortinbras, Prince of Norway, continues his encroachment on the Kingdom of Denmark.
In the final act of this piece, we take a step away from the individual stories of the characters, objectifying the course of history as the actors voices are replaced by pre-recorded ones and they are left with only one option; to walk forward awaiting their cue in the script to die.
Into the spoiled remains of the conference room, we watch Fortinbras enter on tiptoe to speak the timeworn slogan of the conquering invader "I have ancient rights upon this land..."
THE AL-HAMLET SUMMIT
DRAMATIS PERSONAE:
Hamlet- Prince of Denmark, a man in search of a cause
Gertrude- his mother, Queen of Denmark, an apologist
Claudius- his uncle, King of Denmark, a secularist
Polonius- Minister of Denmark, an opportunist
Laertes- his son, a gun for hire
Ophelia- his daughter, a victim
The Ghost- a traditionalist
The Arms Dealer- a dynamic force
A Bell Boy- a messenger
Osric- a civil servant
Fortinbras- a victor
Stage arrangement:
Six conference tables, each equipped with a lamp, a water bottle, glass, wastepaper bin, papers and pen..
Each with the name plaque of the character that sits at them..
Each with a microphone and a web cam.
Behind the desks a projection screen.
In front of the desks, centre-stage, is Old Hamlet's burial cairn made of sand and rubble.
Note about acting styles and choreography:
Actors playing in this Hamlet are exploring the nature of Homo Politcus.
The actors job is not to make us believe that he is the character, but make us believe that he is a delegate representing the interests of this character / country as outlined in the script. He / she is speaking on behalf of a country or a nation's interests. The actor should regard the characters position / interests / desires / fears / ambitions as his / her nations desires.
With the arrangement of six desks, the actor is part of a series of simultaneous visual tracks. The spectators eye focuses on the speaking delegate and the delegate being addressed, but it also flits onto the other delegates. A choreography of responses and attention to the inner emotional life of each delegate is crucial to the dramatic form proposed by the scenography.
As the actors enter we hear extracts from Edward Said's 1992 lecture 'Peace in the Middle East', distorted in the distance. The costumes are all modern, the men and women wear suits, carry their folders and dossiers- they are delegates in Western European dress.
The projection screen shows a backdrop of a moon with moving clouds.
The delegates gather around the burial mound of Old Hamlet laying stones upon it, Hamlet and Gertrude are deeply distressed.
The Arms Dealer joins the other delegates around the burial mound. Nobody recognises her; she is regarded with curiosity and suspicion. One buy one the delegates file out to start proceedings in the conference chamber. The Arms Dealer addresses the audience.
Arms Dealer
In the corridors at conferences, on the third row of official state photographs, leaving early at parties, catching planes before sunrise, feeding off desire: I am an Arms Dealer.
Exit
Time: 10am.
Conference motion (on screen): 'Though yet of Hamlet our dear brother's death'.
Session begins.
Claudius
Though yet of Hamlet our dear brother's death
The memory be green and that it us befitted
To bear our hearts in grief and our whole kingdom
To be contracted in one brow of woe,
Yet so far hath discretion fought with nature
That we with wisest sorrow think on him,
Together with remembrance of ourselves.
Therefore our sometime sister, now our queen,
The imperial jointress to this warlike state,
Have we, as 'twere with a defeated joy,--
With an auspicious and a dropping eye,
With mirth in funeral and with dirge in marriage,
In equal scale weighing delight and dole,--
Taken to wife: nor have we herein barr'd
Your better wisdoms, which have freely gone
With this affair along. For all, our thanks.
But now, my cousin Hamlet, and my son,--
Hamlet
(a redefinition)
A little more than kin, and less than kind.
Claudius
How is it that the clouds still hang on you?
Hamlet
Not so, my lord; I am too much I' the sun.
Gertrude
Good Hamlet, cast they knighted colour off,
And let thin eye look like a friend on Denmark.
Do not for ever with they vailed lids
Seek for thy noble father in the dust:
Thou know'st 'tis common; all that lives must die,
Passing through nature to eternity.
Hamlet
Ay, madam, it is common.
Gertrude
If it be,
Why seems it so particular with thee?
Hamlet
Seems, madam! nay it is; I know not 'seems.'
'Tis not alone my inky cloak, good mother,
Nor customary suits of solemn black,
Nor windy suspiration of forced breath,
No, nor the fruitful river in the eye,
Nor the dejected 'havior of the visage,
Together with all forms, moods, shapes of grief,
That can denote me truly: these indeed seem,
For they are actions that a man might play:
(overlap with Claudius)
But I have that within which passeth show;
These but the trappings and the suits of woe.
Claudius
'Tis sweet and commendable in your nature, Hamlet,
To give these mourning duties to your father:
But, you must know, your father lost a father;
That father lost, lost his, and the survivor bound
In filial obligation for some term
To do obsequious sorrow: but to persever
In obstinate condolement is a course
Of impious stubbornness; 'tis unmanly grief;
Fie! 'tis a fault to heaven,
A fault against the dead, a fault to nature!
For your intent
In going back to school in Wittenberg,
It is most retrograde to our desire.
Gertrude
Let not thy mother lose her prayers, Hamlet:
I pray thee, stay with us; go not to Wittenberg.
A Vote.
Hamlet
I shall in all my best obey you, madam.
Motion carried.
Claudius
Why, 'tis a loving and a fair reply:
Be as ourself in Denmark. Madam, come;
This gentle and unforced accord of Hamlet
Sits smiling to my heart: in grace whereof,
No jocund health that Denmark drinks to-day,
But the great cannon to the clouds shall tell,
And the king's rouse the heavens all bruit again,
Re-speaking earthly thunder. Come away.
Session ends.
Hamlet's tone is, in general, that of reasoned argument- Osama Bin Laden in his video 'Fatwas to the Faithful'.
Hamlet
O, that this too too solid flesh would melt
Thaw and resolve itself into a dew!
Or that the Everlasting had not fix'd
His canon 'gainst self-slaughter! O God! God!
How weary, stale, flat and unprofitable,
Seem to me all the uses of this world!
Fie on't! ah if! 'tis an unweeded garden,
That grows to seed; things rank and gross in nature
Possess it merely. That it should come to this!
But two months dead: nay, not so much, not two:
Heaven and earth!?
Let me not think on't-
-Frailty, thy name is woman!--
A little month,
why she, even she--
O, God! a beast, that wants discourse of reason,
Would have mourn'd longer! Married with my uncle,
My father's brother, but no more like my father
Than I to Hercules.
Within a month!
O, most wicked speed, to post
With such dexterity to incestuous sheets!
It is not nor it cannot come to good:
But break, my heart; for I must hold my tongue.
A mosquito flies from the burial mound around Hamlet's head and lands on his hand. As it sucks his blood (in close up on the projection screen), it imparts a message to him.
Mosquito
My Lord.
Hamlet
Yes.
Mosquito
I saw him.
Hamlet
Saw? Who?
Mosquito
My Lord, the King your father.
Hamlet
The king my father?
Mosquito
My Lord, I knew your father;
These hands are not more like.
Hamlet
But where was this? Did you not speak to it?
Meanwhile, in another corridor, Laertes, fearing for his sister's honour whilst he is absent gives her a gift: it is veil used to cover her face.
Laertes
My necessaries are embark'd: farewell:
And, sister, as the winds give benefit
And convoy is assistant, do not sleep,
But let me hear from you.
Ophelia
Do you doubt that?
Laertes
For Hamlet and the trifling of his favour,
Hold it a fashion and a toy in blood,
A violet in the youth of primy nature,
Forward, not permanent, sweet, not lasting,
The perfume and suppliance of a minute; No more.
Ophelia
No more but so?
Laertes
Think it no more...
Perhaps he loves you now, but you must fear
His greatness weighed, his will is not his own.
For he himself is subject to his birth.
He may not, as unvalued persons do,
Carve for himself; for on his choice depends
The safety and health of this whole state.
Then weigh what loss your honour may sustain,
If with too credent ear you list his songs,
Or lose your heart, or your chaste treasure open
To his unmaster'd importunity.
Fear it, Ophelia, fear it, my dear sister,
And keep you in the rear of your affection,
Out of the shot and danger of desire.
Ophelia
I shall the effect of this good lesson keep,
As watchman to my heart. But, good my brother,
Do not-
Laertes
Ophelia, fear me not.
Polonius, having left his desk for a cigarette, walks past Ophelia's chamber.
Polonius
Yet here Laertes? Aboard, aboard for shame!
And these few precepts in thy memory
See thou character.
Give thy thoughts no tongue,
Nor any unproportioned thought his act.
Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar.
Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,
Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel;
But do not dull thy palm with entertainment
Of each new-hatch'd, unfledged comrade. Beware
Of entrance to a quarrel, but being in,
Bear't that the opposed may beware of thee.
Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice;
Take each man's censure, but reserve thy judgment.
Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy,
But not express'd in fancy; rich, not gaudy;
For the apparel oft proclaims the man.
Neither a borrower nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Farewell: my blessing season this in the!
Laertes
Ophelia; and remember well
What I have said to you.
Ophelia
'Tis in my memory lock'd,
And you yourself shall keep the key of it.
Laertes
Farewell.
Exit Laertes
Polonius
What is't, Ophelia, he hath said to you?
Ophelia
So please you, something touching the Lord Hamlet.
Polonius
What is between you? give me up the truth.
Ophelia
He hath, my lord, of late made many tenders
Of his affection to me.
Polonius
Affection! Pooh! you speak like a green girl,
Do you believe his tenders, as you call them?
Ophelia
I do not know, my lord, what I should think.
Polonius
Marry, I'll teach you: think yourself a baby;
This is for all:
I would not, in plain terms, from this time forth,
Have you so slander any moment leisure,
As to give words or talk with the Lord Hamlet.
Look to't, I charge you: come, come, come.
Ophelia
I shall obey, my lord.
Projected Caption: In the dead vast and middle of the night.
Polonius returns to his desk to sleep. Hamlet is feeling the feverous effects of the mosquito's bite and is shifting restlessly within his chamber, Gertrude has walked into Claudius' booth to consummate their marriage. The sound of their lust is picked up on Claudius' microphone and reverberates inside Hamlet's head, causing him excruciating pain.
A Bell Boy emerges from Hamlet's fever, like an animated character from a Microsoft help program.
Bell Boy
Hi there! We are here to help!!! I have this for you- you Mr Hay Mut? Are you? OK, great! Then this is for you. (Places tape on desktop) But before I give this to you I have to read you this disclaimer. My job is worth more than this. 'The contents of this package may engender serious mental derangement, loss of reason and I - that is you!- accept that is a risk'. OK? By you? Great. Sign please. I don't know. What? Try again! Who sent it ? A dead guy. OK?
Exit.
Hamlet
(Eating the video tape)
My fate cries out!
Claudius
(burping in his sleep)
Something is rotten in the state of Denmark.
Hamlet's eating of the video tape induces a huge amount of static from Claudius' short wave radio, static fills the projection screen and Hamlet in an ecstatic fit approaches the burial mound of his dead father.
GHOST
If thou didst ever thy dear father love-
Hamlet
O God!
Ghost
Revenge his foul and most unnatural murder.
Hamlet
Murder!
Ghost
Sleeping within my orchard,
My custom always of the afternoon,
Upon my secure hour thy uncle stole,
Hamlet
O my prophetic soul! My uncle!
By this stage Hamlet's delirium has reached excruciating proportions, he is foaming at the mouth, kicking and flailing around on the floor, the others, still in their slumbers are in states of frenzy and nightmare. Gertrude awakes screaming, Claudius speaks frantic alibis into the microphone, Polonius is maniacally shredding his papers.
GHOST
O, horrible! O, horrible! Most horrible!
If thou hast nature in thee, bear it not;
Let not the royal bed of Denmark be
A couch for luxury and damned incest.
But, howsoever thou pursuest this act,
Taint not thy mind, nor let thy soul contrive
Against thy mother aught: leave her to heaven
And to those thorns that in her bosom lodge,
To prick and sting her.
Adieu, adieu! Hamlet, remember me.
Hamlet
O, fie! Hold, hold, my heart;
Remember the! yes, by heaven!
O most pernicious woman!
O villain, villain, smiling, damned villain!
My tables!
(Crawling back to his desk)
Meet it is I set it down,
That one may smile, and smile, and be a villain;
At least I'm sure it may be so in Denmark:
So, uncle, there you are. Now to my word;
It is 'Adieu, adieu! remember me.'
I have sworn't.
The time is out of joint: O cursed spite,
That ever I was born to set it right!
Stunned and disorientated, Hamlet walks around the corridors to Ophelia's desk. What begins as a comforting embrace soon develops into an animal need on Hamlet's part. He forces her to the ground and pulls her, struggling, beneath her desk.
Blackout
Time: 8am
Ophelia is scrunching up the love letters that Hamlet has written her and throwing them from her desk onto the burial mound.
Caught on the web cam, and relayed onto the screen in slow motion, the motion of her arm throwing these paper missiles is reminiscent of the protests of another, very real, victim of foreign invasion- the Palestinian people.
Polonius
How now, Ophelia! what's the matter?
Ophelia
O, my lord, my lord, I have been so affrighted!
Polonius
With what, i' the name of God?
Ophelia
My lord, as I was sewing in my closet,
Lord Hamlet-he comes before me.
Polonius
Mad for thy love?
Ophelia
My lord, I do not know;
But truly, I do fear it.
Polonius
What said he?
Ophelia
He took me by the wrist and held me hard;
Then goes he to the length of all his arm;
And, with his other hand thus o'er his brow,
He falls to such perusal of my face
As he would draw it. Long stay'd he so;
At last, a little shaking of mine arm
And thrice his head thus waving up and down,
He raised a sigh so piteous and profound
As it did seem to shatter all his bulk
And end his being: that done, he lets me go:
And, with his head over his shoulder turn'd,
He seem'd to find his way without his eyes;
For out o' doors he went without their helps,
And, to the last, bended their light on me.
During her speech, Polonius leaves his desk, makes the long walk to the outside world and gingerly retrieves the letters from the burial mound and reads them.
Polonius
Come, go with me: I will go seek the king.
This must be known; which, being kept close, might move
More grief to hide than hate to utter love.
Blackout
The Arms Dealer's meetings:
The Arms dealer meets with all the delegates during the course of the piece. She is never seen inside the conference area.
She inhabits the downstage area around the burial mound. This is where she arranges meetings and crosses the delegates' paths, as we see in this dialogue with Claudius.
The backdrop of each of these meetings, projected onto the screen, is the infernal imagery of burning oil fields, from the aftermath of the Iraqi invasion of Kuwait, 1991.
After each meeting with the Arms Dealer, the delegate returns to the conference carrying a large, metal crate.
ARMS DEAL #1
The Arms Dealer and Claudius enter separately.
Claudius
I'm sorry you missed the funeral.
Arms Dealer
And the wedding.
Claudius
Mmm. The food?
Arms Dealer
Sorry?
Claudius
The baked meats, the pheasant. I had them send up some pheasant to your room.
Arms Dealer
Actually, it arrived cold, but-
Claudius
Of course it was cold-
Arms Dealer
But-
Claudius
You were late-
Arms Dealer
But I like cold meat.
Claudius
Good!
Pause.
Claudius
How long will you be staying in Denmark?
Arms Dealer
As long as I am welcome.
Claudius
We are preparing for war, against Norway. it may not be in your interests to stay here very long.
Arms Dealer
Would you rather I went to Norway?
Claudius
I am so happy you are with us in Denmark.
Arms Dealer
So am I.
Blackout
Claudius reenters his chamber.
Session begins
Time: 10am. Motion: I have found the very cause of Hamlet's lunacy.
Polonius
I have found
The very cause of Hamlet's lunacy.
Claudius
O, speak of that; that do I long to hear.
Gertrude
I doubt it is no other but the main;
His father's death, and our o'erhasty marriage.
Polonius
My liege, and madam, to expostulate
What majesty should be, what duty is,
Why day is day, night night, and time is time,
Were nothing but to waste night, day and time.
Therefore, since brevity is the soul of wit,
And tediousness the limbs and outward flourishes,
I will be brief: your noble son is mad:
Mad call I it; for, to define true madness,
What is't but to be nothing else but mad?
But let that go.
Gertrude
More matter, with less art.
Polonius
Madam, I swear I use no art at all.
I have a daughter- have while she is mine-
Who, in her duty and obedience, mark,
Hath given me this: now gather, and surmise.
Polonius forces Ophelia to read aloud.
Ophelia
'To the celestial and my soul's idol, the most
beautified Ophelia..'
Polonius
That's an ill phrase, a vile phrase; 'beautified' is
a vile phrase: but you shall hear. Thus:
Ophelia
'In her excellent white bosom, these, & c.''
Gertrude
Came this from Hamlet to her?
Polonius
Good madam, stay awhile; I will be faithful.
Ophelia
'Doubt thou the stars are fire;
Doubt that the sun doth move;
Doubt truth to be a liar;
But never doubt I love.'
Polonius
When I had seen this hot love on the wing I went round to work,
And my young mistress thus I did bespeak:
'Lord Hamlet is a prince, out of thy star;
This must not be:' And he repulsed
Fell into a sadness, then into a fast,
Thence to a watch, thence into a weakness,
Thence to a lightness, and, by this declension,
Into the madness wherein now he raves,
And all we mourn for.
Hamlet, appalled by the outrage of being slandered in public and the betrayal of his love letters being read to the conference, crashes from his chamber and leaves the conference.
Ophelia
'Ophelia dear Ophelia, I am ill at these numbers;
I have not art to reckon my groans: but that
I love thee best, Ophelia most best, believe it. Adieu.
'Thine evermore most dear lady, whilst
this machine is to him, Hamlet.'
Claudius
Do you think 'tis this?
Gertrude
It may be, very like.
Claudius
How may we try it further?
Polonius
You know, sometimes he walks four hours together
Here in the lobby.
Gertrude
So he does indeed.
Polonius
At such a time I'll loose my daughter to him:
Mark the encounter.
Vote.
Motion Carried.
Claudius
We will try it.
Session ends.
Time: Midnight
ARMS DEAL #2
The Arms Dealer is smoking near the burial mound. Hamlet enters, stands and watches her.
Arms Dealer
Who's there? Who is it?
Hamlet
It's Hamlet.
Arms Dealer
(exhaling)
Mmm...
Hamlet
You're out late.
Arms Dealer
Can't breathe.
Hamlet
You're smoking.
Arms Dealer
Because I can't breathe.
Hamlet
It's the fires.
Arms Dealer
Yes. You?
Hamlet
Can't... speak anymore.
Pause.
Arms Dealer
There's a breeze.
Hamlet
From the graves, the graves are full, there's no more room for the dead.
Arms Dealer
The desert is huge.
Hamlet
Infinite.
Pause.
How's the hotel?
Arms Dealer
Empty.
Hamlet
Can you get me some guns?
Arms Dealer
Of course.
Hamlet
(Leaving)
Sleep well.
Arms Dealer
I will.
Hamlet returns to his chamber. Polonius is in his chamber.
Session begins.
Polonius and Hamlet are the only two left in the conference chamber. Here we see them indulge in a senseless late night slandering match, the equivalent, for Homo Politicus, of a food fight.
Polonius
O, give me leave:
How does my good Lord Hamlet?
Hamlet
Well, God-a-mercy.
Polonius
Do you know me, my lord?
Hamlet
Excellent well; you are a fishmonger.
Polonius
Not I, my lord.
Hamlet
Then I would you were so honest a man.
Polonius
Honest, my lord!
Hamlet
Ay, sir; to be honest, as this world goes, is to be
one man picked out of ten thousand.
Polonius
That's very true, my lord.
Hamlet
For if the sun breed maggots in a dead dog, being a
god kissing carrion,- Have you a daughter?
Polonius
I have, my lord.
Hamlet
Let her not walk i' the sun: conception is a
blessing: but not as your daughter may conceive.
Friend, look to 't.
Polonius
(Off mic)
How say you by that? Still harping on my
daughter: he is far gone, far gone I'll speak to him again.
What do you read, my lord?
Hamlet
Words, words, words.
Polonius
What is the matter, my lord?
Hamlet
Between who?
Polonius
I mean, the matter that you read, my lord.
Hamlet
Slanders, sir; all which, sir, I most powerfully and potently believe.
Polonius
(Off mic)
Though this be madness, yet there is method in 't. Will you walk out of the air, my lord?
Hamlet
Into my grave.
Polonius
Indeed, that is out o' the air.
(Off mic)
How pregnant sometimes his replies are! I will
leave him.
My honourable
lord, I will most humbly take my leave of you.
Hamlet
You cannot, sir, take from me any thing that I will
more willingly part withal: except my life, except
my life, except my life.
Polonius
Fare you well, my lord.
Hamlet
Tedious old fools!
Blackout.
A series of brief tableaux follows, exploring some of the thoughts occupying the delegates in and out of the conference rooms.
Time: 8.45am.
ARMS DEAL # 3
Polonius and the Arms Dealer enter separately.
Polonius
Everything all right?
Arms Dealer
Fine. Except I think there's something in my bedroom.
Polonius
What might that be?
Arms Dealer
I think it's a rat.
Polonius
How strange. Very likely. Here take some of this, pour it on the floor; dead by breakfast.
Arms Dealer
Thank you.
Polonius
Don't mention it. By the way, when is payment due?
Arms Dealer
Upon signing of the contract.
Polonius
In full?
Arms Dealer
In full.
Blackout
Time 10.15am
Hamlet leaves his desk and chamber and walks along the rear corridor towards Ophelia.
A moment later, Ophelia leaves her desk and chamber and walks towards Hamlet.
Just as they are about to intersect round a blind corridor, Polonius enters from the wings.
They both make swift about-turns and walk back to their desks.
Blackout
Time 4.30pm
ARMS DEAL # 4
Gertrude and the Arms Dealer enter together.
Gertrude
Is there anything I can get you?
Arms Dealer
You are so kind. Is there anything I can get you?
Gertrude
You are so charming.
Arms Dealer
I like your shoes.
Gertrude
I like yours.
Arms Dealer
Where are we going?
Gertrude
To the sea, you don't mind, do you?
Arms Dealer
Not at all.
Gertrude
It's nothing special I'm afraid, the best views are further North.
Arms Dealer
I can smell it already.
Gertrude
Did you go to Milan this year?
Arms Dealer
No I missed Milan, such a shame, I love the Milan shows.
Gertrude
I know.
Arms Dealer
I went to Paris, though.
Gertrude
Oh, really, did you see the Chanel collection.
(Leaving the stage, becoming inaudible)
Arms Dealer
I love Chanel.
Gertrude
So do I. For me it's either Chanel or Yves Saint Laurent, nothing else will do.
Arms Dealer
Saint Laurent, oh I must show you what I found in Tokyo of all places.
Gertrude
Tokyo, really?
Blackout
Time 1.32pm
Lights up. Hamlet is at his desk sternly composing poetry. Polonius is cutting up papers. Claudius has poured himself a glass of water from the water cooler and stands drinking it staring at Hamlet's back. He finishes the cup and crumples it in his hand.
Blackout
As the lights come up, we see Gertrude finishing off the last touches of make-up on Ophelia. Claudius and Polonius are inside her chamber, nudging and prompting her throughout her dialogue with Hamlet.
Claudius
Sweet Gertrude, leave us too;
For we have closely sent for Hamlet hither,
That he, as 'twere by accident, may here
Affront Ophelia.
Gertrude
I shall obey you.
And for your part, Ophelia, I do wish
That your good beauties be the happy cause
Of Hamlet's wildness: so shall I hope your virtues
Will bring him to his wonted way again,
To both your honours.
Ophelia
Madam, I wish it may.
Claudius
Read on this book.
Hamlet
(Composing, rehearsing)
To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life.
A session bell rings.
-Soft you now!
The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my sins remember'd.
Ophelia
Good my lord,
How does your honour for this many a day?
Hamlet
I humbly thank you; well, well, well.
Ophelia
My lord, I have remembrances of yours,
That I have longed long to re-deliver;
I pray you, now receive them.
Hamlet
No, not I;
I never gave you aught.
Ophelia
My honour'd lord, you know right well you did;
And, with them, words of so sweet breath composed
As made the things more rich: their perfume lost,
Take these again; for to the noble mind
Rich gifts wax poor when givers prove unkind.
There, my lord.
Hamlet
Ha, ha! are you honest?
Ophelia
My lord?
Hamlet
Are you fair?
Ophelia
What means your lordship?
Hamlet
I did love you once.
Ophelia
Indeed, my lord, you made me believe so.
Hamlet
You should not have believed me; I loved you not.
Ophelia
I was the more deceived.
Hamlet
Get thee to a nunnery: We are arrant knaves,
all; believe none of us. Go thy ways to a nunnery.
Where's your father?
Ophelia
At home, my lord.
Hamlet
Let the doors be shut upon him, that he may play the
fool no where but in's own house. Farewell.
Ophelia
Ophelia, help him, you sweet heavens!
Hamlet
If thou dost marry, I'll give thee this plague for
thy dowry...
Get thee to a nunnery, go: farewell. To a nunnery, go,
and quickly too. Farewell.
Ophelia
O heavenly powers, restore him!
Hamlet
I have heard of your paintings too, well enough; God
has given you one face, and you make yourselves
another: you jig, you amble, and you lisp. Go to, I'll no more on't; it hath
made me mad. I say, we will have no more marriages:
those that are married already, all but one, shall
live; the rest shall keep as they are.
To a nunnery, go.
Exit
Ophelia
O, what a noble mind is here o'erthrown!
The courtier's, soldier's, scholar's, eye, tongue, sword;
The expectancy and rose of the fair state,
The glass of fashion and the mould of form,
The observed of all observers, quite, quite down!
And I, of ladies most deject and wretched,
That suck'd the honey of his music vows,
Now see that noble and most sovereign reason,
Like sweet bells jangled, out of tune and harsh;
That unmatch'd form and feature of blown youth
Blasted with ecstasy: O, woe is me,
To have seen what I have seen, see what I see!
Claudius, Gertrude and Polonius have returned to their chambers. Sardonic applause for Ophelia's first and last speech to the conference.
Claudius
Love! his affections do not that way tend;
Nor what he spake, though it lack'd form a little,
Was not like madness. There's something in his soul,
O'er which his melancholy sits on brood;
And I do doubt the hatch and the disclose
Will be some danger: which for to prevent,
I have in quick determination
Thus set it down: he shall with speed to England,
What think you on't?
Polonius
It shall do well: but yet do I believe
The origin and commencement of his grief
Sprung from neglected love. How now, Ophelia!
You need not tell us what Lord Hamlet said;
We heard it all. My lord, do as you please.
Vote.
Ophelia does not vote.
Motion Carried.
Claudius
It shall be so:
Madness in great ones must not unwatch'd go.
Session ends.
All delegates leave their chambers.
Hamlet, who has been drinking water by the cooler, suddenly catches Claudius eye and shouts him out of the corridor.
Hamlet
Bloody, bawdy villain!
Remorseless, treacherous, lecherous, kindless villain!
Oh, vengeance!
Exit Claudius
Hamlet
Am I a coward ?
Why, what an ass am I ! This is most brave,
That I, the son of the dear murdered,
Prompted to my revenge by heaven and hell,
Must like a whore unpack my heart with words!
About, my brain...
Blackout
ARMS DEAL # 5
Ophelia waits by the burial mound. The arms dealer enters.
Arms Dealer
So sorry I'm late. I'm charmed to-
Ophelia
Shut up!
Arms Dealer
You've changed.
Ophelia
And the world hasn't? Sell me a gun.
Arms Dealer
One gun! No.
Ophelia
What do you mean 'no'? You don't say no, you say 'when' and when it's over you say 'call me again'; you're a whore a steel whore, don't tell me you're not, I know a whore when I see one- sell me a gun.
Arms Dealer
It makes me nervous, guns move in crates like shoals, like herds, like packs: there's a survival instinct in guns, my darling.
Ophelia
(Holding out the money)
Take it, take it, take it.
Arms Dealer
(taking the money)
Longing to survive.
Blackout
Hamlet finishes writing. He makes preparations for the dumbshow as he addresses the audience.
Hamlet
There is a play to-night before the king;
One scene of it comes near the circumstance
Which I have told thee of my father's death:
I prithee, when thou seest that act afoot,
Even with the very comment of thy soul
Observe mine uncle.
He leaves.
The Dumb Show
The delegates appear on the projection screen, gathering around Claudius to watch the entertainment. The dialogue that follows is pre-recorded and takes place on the screen.
Claudius
How fares our cousin Hamlet?
Hamlet
Excellent, i' faith; of the chameleon's dish: I eat
the air, promise-crammed: you cannot feed capons so.
Claudius
I have nothing with this answer, Hamlet; these words
are not mine.
Hamlet
No, nor mine now.
Gertrude
Come hither, my dear Hamlet, sit by me.
Hamlet
No, good mother, here's metal more attractive.
Polonius
(To Claudius)
O, ho! do you mark that?
Hamlet
Lady, shall I lie in your lap?
Ophelia
No, my lord.
Hamlet
I mean, my head upon your lap?
Ophelia
Ay, my lord.
Hamlet
Do you think I meant country matters?
Ophelia
I think nothing, my lord.
Hamlet
That's a fair thought to lie between maids' legs.
Ophelia
What is, my lord?
Hamlet
Nothing.
Ophelia
You are merry, my lord.
Hamlet
Who, I? What should a man do but be merry? for look you how cheerfully my mother looks and my father died within's two hours.
Ophelia
Nay, 'tis twice two months my lord.
Hamlet
So long ? O heavens! Die two months ago, and not forgotten yet?
On stage, a number of new delegates enter and sit at the conference tables. The new delegates are the usual suspects of the Arab political scene: a man in military clothes, wearing a beret; a man in Western dress with a white shamq; a man in military outfit with a white and black shmaq; a Saudi / Gulf delegate in bisht and national costume.
Claudius, Gertrude and Polonius are highly amused at seeing this witty parody of their own modus operandi.
The session is led by the Gulf delegate, he mimes a long discourse, the other delegates mime objections, rise form their seats and are quelled by the Gulf leader.
Ophelia
What means this, my lord?
Hamlet
It means mischief.
Ophelia
You are naught, you are naught: I'll mark the play.
Tea is served and the song of the Palestinian intifada comes over the speakers 'Weeen al arab ween, ween al malayeen'.
Hamlet
Madam, how like you this play?
Gertrude
The lady protests too much, methinks.
Hamlet
O, but she'll keep her word.
The dumbshow delegates, as if drugged, fall into a deep sleep.
Claudius
Have you heard the argument? Is there no offence in 't?
Hamlet
No, no, they do but jest, poison in jest; no offence
i' the world.
Claudius
What do you call the play?
Hamlet
The Mouse-trap. but what o'
that? Your majesty and we that have free souls, it
touches us not:.
During this dialogue, the military commander rises from his chair and enacts a poisoning upon the Gulf leader- a woman screams- the military commander pushes him from his seat and assumes power. The session begins again, led by the discourse of the military commander and as before the other delegates rise from their seats in objection and are quelled.
Claudius, whose agitation at watching the dumb show has been visibly mounting, rises aghast- the dumb show actors take their bows and leave. The dead Gulf leader remains lying on the stage
Claudius
Give me some light: away!
All
Lights, lights, lights!
The delegates exit from the screen. The dead dumbshow leader rises and is revealed as Hamlet.
Hamlet
(to audience)
Didst perceive? Upon the talk of the poisoning?
Ah, ha! Come, some music! come, the recorders!
For if the king like not the comedy,
Why then, belike, he likes it not, perdy.
Come, some music!
Polonius enters in agitation.
Polonius
My lord, the queen would speak with you, and
Presently.
Polonius leaves.
Hamlet
'Tis now the very witching time of night,
When churchyards yawn and hell itself breathes out
Contagion to this world: now could I drink hot blood,
And do such bitter business as the day
Would quake to look on.
The delegates return to their chambers. Hamlet quickly hides under Claudius' desk.
Session begins. Motion: He to England
Claudius
I like him not, nor stands it safe with us
To let his madness range. Therefore prepare you;
I your commission will forthwith dispatch,
And he to England shall along with you:
The terms of our estate may not endure
Hazard so dangerous as doth hourly grow
Out of his lunacies.
Vote.
Motion Carried.
Claudius
Thanks, dear my lords.
Session ends.
Claudius, seeking atonement proceeds to undress for prayer and climbs on top of his desk to beg forgiveness.
Claudius
O, my offence is rank it smells to heaven;
It hath the primal eldest curse upon't,
A brother's murder. Pray can I not,
Though inclination be as sharp as will:
My stronger guilt defeats my strong intent;
And, like a man to double business bound,
I stand in pause where I shall first begin,
And both neglect. What if this cursed hand
Were thicker than itself with brother's blood,
Is there not rain enough in the sweet heavens
To wash it white as snow? But, O, what form of prayer
Can serve my turn? 'Forgive me my foul murder'?
That cannot be; since I am still possess'd
Of those effects for which I did the murder,
My crown, mine own ambition and my queen.
May one be pardon'd and retain the offence?
O wretched state! O bosom black as death!
O limed soul, that, struggling to be free,
Art more engaged! Help, angels! Make assay!
Bow, stubborn knees; and, heart with strings of steel,
Be soft as sinews of the newborn babe!
All may be well.
Hamlet crawls out from under Claudius' desk, gun in hand.
Hamlet
Now might I do it pat, now he is praying;
And now I'll do't. And so he goes to heaven;
And so am I revenged. That would be scann'd:
A villain kills my father; and for that,
I, his sole son, do this same villain send
To heaven.
O, this is hire and salary, not revenge.
No!
Up, sword; and know thou a more horrid hent:
When he is drunk asleep, or in his rage,
Or in the incestuous pleasure of his bed;
At gaming, swearing, or about some act
That has no relish of salvation in't;
Then trip him, that his heels may kick at heaven,
And that his soul may be as damn'd and black
As hell, whereto it goes. My mother stays:
This physic but prolongs thy sickly days.
Hamlet returns to his chamber.
Claudius
My words fly up, my thoughts remain below:
Words without thoughts never to heaven go.
Polonius enters with Gertrude.
Polonius
He will come straight. I'll sconce me even here.
Pray you, be round with him.
Gertrude
I'll warrant you,
Fear me not: withdraw.
Gertrude goes to her chamber, Polonius goes to Claudius'.
Polonius
My lord! He's going to his mother's closet:
(Gathering his clothes up for him)
Fare you well, my liege:
I'll call upon you ere you go to bed,
And tell you what I know.
Claudius leaves. Polonius sits at Claudius' desk.
Hamlet
Mother, mother, mother!
Session Begins. Motion: Thou hast thy father much offended
Hamlet
Now, mother, what's the matter?
Gertrude
Hamlet, thou hast thy father much offended.
Hamlet
Mother, you have my father much offended.
Gertrude
Come, come, you answer with an idle tongue.
Hamlet
Go, go, you question with a wicked tongue.
Gertrude
Why, how now, Hamlet!
Hamlet
What's the matter now?
Gertrude
Have you forgot me?
Hamlet
No, by the rood, not so:
You are the queen, your husband's brother's wife;
And- would it were not so!- you are my mother.
Gertrude
Nay, then, I'll set those to you that can speak.
Hamlet
Come, come, and sit you down; you shall not budge;
You go not till I set you up a glass
Where you may see the inmost part of you.
Gertrude
What wilt thou do? Thou wilt not murder me?
Help, help, ho!
Polonius
What, ho! help, help, help!
Hamlet
How now! a rat? Dead, for a ducat, dead!
Hamlet turns in his chair and shoots Polonius, who dies bloodily at Claudius' desk.
Gertrude
O me, what hast thou done?
Hamlet
Nay, I know not:
Is it the king?
Gertrude
O, what a rash and bloody deed is this!
Hamlet
A bloody deed! almost as bad, good mother,
As kill a king, and marry with his brother.
Gertrude
As kill a king!
Hamlet
Ay, lady, 'twas my word.
(He leaves his chamber and discovers Polonius)
Thou wretched, rash, intruding fool, farewell!
(Entering Gertrude's chamber)
Leave wringing of your hands: peace! sit you down,
And let me wring your heart; for so I shall,
If it be made of penetrable stuff.
Gertrude
What have I done, that thou darest wag thy tongue
In noise so rude against me?
Hamlet
Such an act
That blurs the grace and blush of modesty,
Calls virtue hypocrite, takes off the rose
From the fair forehead of an innocent love
And sets a blister there.
Gertrude
Ay me, what act,
That roars so loud, and thunders in the index?
Hamlet
Look here, upon this picture, and on this,
See, what a grace was seated on this brow;
A combination and a form indeed,
Where every god did seem to set his seal,
To give the world assurance of a man:
This was your husband. Look you now, what follows:
Here is your husband; like a mildew'd ear,
Blasting his wholesome brother. Have you eyes?
Ha! have you eyes?
You cannot call it love; for at your age
The hey-day in the blood is tame, it's humble,
And waits upon the judgment: and what judgment
Would step from this to this?
Eyes without feeling, feeling without sight,
Ears without hands or eyes,
O shame! where is thy blush?
Gertrude
O Hamlet, speak no more:
Thou turn'st mine eyes into my very soul;
And there I see such black and grained spots
As will not leave their tinct.
Hamlet
Nay, but to live
In the rank sweat of an enseamed bed,
Stew'd in corruption, honeying and making love
Over the nasty sty,--
Gertrude
O, speak to me no more;
These words, like daggers, enter in mine ears;
No more, sweet Hamlet!
Hamlet
A murderer and a villain;
A slave; a vice of kings;
Gertrude
No more!
Hamlet
A king of shreds and patches,--
(Ghost enters)
Save me you heavenly guards!
Hamlet races back to his chamber, hiding his gun.
Hamlet
What would your gracious figure?
Gertrude
Alas, he's mad!
Ghost
Speak to her, Hamlet.
Hamlet
How is it with you, lady?
Gertrude
Alas, how is't with you,
That you do bend your eye on vacancy
And with the incorporal air do hold discourse?
O gentle son,
Whereon do you look?
Hamlet
On him, on him! Look you, how pale he glares!
Do not look upon me;
Gertrude
To whom do you speak this?
Hamlet
Do you see nothing there?
Gertrude
Nothing at all; yet all that is I see.
Hamlet
Nor did you nothing hear?
Gertrude
No, nothing but ourselves.
This the very coinage of your brain:
O Hamlet, thou hast cleft my heart in twain.
Hamlet
O, throw away the worser part of it,
And live the purer with the other half.
Good night: but go not to mine uncle's bed;
Once more, good night:
(Gertrude leaves, unnoticed by Hamlet)
And when you are desirous to be bless'd,
I'll blessing beg of you. For this same lord,
I do repent: but heaven hath pleased it so.
So, again, good night.
I must be cruel, only to be kind:
Thus bad begins and worse remains behind.
Mother, good night.
Good night, mother.
Mother, good night.
Mother? Mother?
Claudius enters his chamber, and addresses the mic over Polonius' body.
Claudius
Disease, disease, disease!
Diseases desperate grown
By desperate appliance are relieved,
Or not at all.
Therefore, Hamlet, for that which thou hast done
prepare thyself; For England.
Hamlet
For England!
Claudius
Ay, Hamlet.
Hamlet
Good.
Claudius
So is it, if thou knew'st our purposes.
Hamlet
I see a cherub that sees them. But, come; for
England! Farewell, dear mother.
Claudius
Thy loving father, Hamlet.
Hamlet
My mother: father and mother is man and wife; man
and wife is one flesh; and so, my mother. Come, for England!
(Hamlet leaves)
Claudius
And, England, if my love thou hold'st at aught--
The present death of Hamlet
Do it, England;
For like the hectic in my blood he rages,
And thou must cure me: till I know 'tis done,
Howe'er my haps, my joys were ne'er begun.
Claudius storms from his chamber to the burial mound and the Arms Dealer.
ARMS DEAL #6
Claudius
Do you think I am a monkey?
Arms Dealer
Not at all, Claudius.
Claudius
(he hands her a list)
Take this.
Arms Dealer
(She reads)
500 howitzers, 12 B-52s, 4 Stealths, 5 Submarines, 17 Cruise Missiles, 1 million rounds of ammunition. Per week.
Claudius
Don't ever tell anybody I'm a monkey, or I'll have you shot, do you understand?
Arms Dealer
Perfectly.
Claudius
Shhh.
Arms Dealer
Shhh.
Blackout
Ophelia stands near the water cooler, sipping water. Gertrude is in her chamber.
Claudius
(to Ophelia, as he reenters)
How do you, pretty lady?
Claudius returns to his chamber, but decides to